Meditation is Stressful...
I thought this was going to be easier. After coming off a weekend where I failed miserably at finding time for my first meditation session, I didn’t expect this process to start at the place that is the originator for most of the stress in my life. My office here at the basement of FAMS Printing, is where I find myself sitting down to start this journey for the search of mental clarity.
It feels like I should be running as far away from here as possible, yet at the same time, it turns out this might be the only place I can go to where doors can be locked and I can be assured that I can exist in a room (alone) without any chance of interruption.
While I had good intentions to start at home, even clearing out a nice “zen” like space on the floor at home with a blanket and pillows, my attempts ultimately failed over the weekend to start practicing the process. All hopes for execution were quickly erased by an early morning intruder (AKA my oldest child) who wasn’t having any of the “quiet time” required for a 15 minute session. I should have known better. So I guess in the meantime, this old chair in the basement at the shop will have to do for now.
My goal is to do a 15 minute meditation session every morning, everyday, for this first week. I set the alarm on my phone so I wouldn’t have to break my concentration wondering if the time is up yet. I’ve done some form of meditation before but only in small doses. Mostly just the simple walkthroughs on Netflix’s new “Headspace’s Guide to Meditation” which are only about 4-5 minutes of someone talking you through it. That’s much easier than sitting in an empty room, alone, for 15 minutes with just you and your thoughts. Initially, the only thing entering my mind as I begin to close my eyes and take deep breaths is when the hell is my alarm going to go off? This feels like an eternity.
But some of the practices from the Netlfix show actually help me to regain my concentration and focus, taking my attention away from the clock and back to basically the “nothingness” of a clear mind.
I did feel myself resisting though...like if I wanted to, I could fall into a deeper state or something. I think I might have been a little too nervous to let that happen. Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow, but the hard part is over. I finished my first 15 minute session. I’m now officially a meditator. Ommmmm…